Friendship Is Good for the Body and Soul
January 2004 — Through thick and thin, good and bad, laughter and tears, friends are an important part of our lives.
But more than that, friends can round out a healthy lifestyle of eating well, exercising and managing stress. Judith Marquit, PsyD, psychologist on the staff at Memorial Regional Hospital, Memorial Hospital West and Memorial Hospital Pembroke, is a strong believer that not only does having good friends benefit our psychological and spiritual well-being, but also our physical health.
The Friendship Phenomenon
According to Dr. Marquit, friendship is growing in importance - and serving a greater role in our lives — for several reasons:
- Smaller families — with smaller families and fewer siblings, many people turn to friends for camaraderie.
- Job mobility and relocation among family members — friendships take greater precedence as families become more geographically fragmented.
- Higher unmarried and divorce rates — rather than being alone, either as a single or after a marriage dissolves, many people cultivate stronger friendships.
- Rise in life expectancy — as people live longer, friendships help to fill the void of losing a spouse or missing the day-to-day interaction at a job.
The Health Benefits of Friendship
Friendships can improve our lives, quite literally. A connection exists between close personal relationships and improved immune function and resistance to disease. Researchers have learned that people with friends live longer, are less likely to get certain illnesses and are more likely to survive a major illness, such as a heart attack or cancer. It seems that companionship can reduce stress and protect us from illness, as well as help us heal.
It's not healthy to be alone. Loneliness and isolation can lead to numerous stress-related health consequences, including heart attacks, asthma, headaches and even the common cold. Friendship creates a buffer from stress-related illnesses. "Your immune system gets a boost as you express your emotions and release negative thoughts," says Dr. Marquit.
Remember that a healthy support system can come in a variety of forms — from friends, as well as family, church or club membership, work associates, neighbors, and even pets.
Be a Friend First
The strength of your friendships is often a reflection of the time and attention you put into them: It takes a friend to be a friend. In fact, 85 percent of friendships are based on shared activities and emotional support. Dr. Marquit says the qualities that form the foundation of solid friendships include:
- Loyalty
We should be able to trust our friends and know they'll defend us in turn. - Positive Attitude
An uncritical and upbeat friend provides support in our hectic lives. - Helpfulness
A helping hand should be offered without asking. - Risk-Taking
To create real intimacy, we must reach out to others. - Fair-Mindedness
Seeing the world from another's point of view is vital in friendships. - Kindness
A true friend will be there for us when we're feeling down and will delight in our triumphs and accomplishments. - Ability to Listen
Friends concentrate on what we're saying and don't monopolize conversations.
Even if you're extremely busy, you can find ways to keep your friendships going strong. Invite a friend to dinner, a movie or a cultural event. Attend a gym or take a brisk walk together. Organize get-togethers that include friends and their children, even if it's just snacks and conversation at someone's house.
For friends who have moved away, keep in touch with regular e-mails or letters, and share photos of special events.
Help Friendships Thrive
"Companionship is part of our genetic makeup — it's in our nature to seek relationships with others," says Dr. Marquit.
Who has earned the special title of "friend" in your life? Honor those friendships with the time, attention and nurturing that they deserve, and you may live a longer, healthier life.