The Lessons We Learn in Childhood Affect Our Relationships Throughout Life
February 2003 — Loyalty, caring, trust, generosity, tact — these qualities may begin to develop as early as age 1, when we form our first friendships. What do such relationships mean? What do they teach us? Here are a few reasons why first friendships are so important:
The Basics
Through first friendships, we learn valuable lessons that become the basis for almost every relationship in life: honesty, kindness, trust, concern, cooperation. Even the most casual relationships are colored by these influences, as seen when we rush to help someone who has fallen or when we smile and say, "Good morning," to a stranger.
Learning to Care
Friends teach us to care about others. Even as children, we are excited about a friend's new pet or upcoming vacation, and we are sad when a friend is ill or loses a loved one.
The Art of Sharing
Thanks in part to first friends, we develop the ability to share. We begin by sharing treasures such as new toys and just-baked chocolate chip cookies, and as adults we share precious resources such as our time and attention.
Needing to Be Needed
During childhood, friends might call on us to help with a homework assignment, build a tree house or play third base in a pick-up baseball game. That feeling of being needed helps to create a sense of purpose in life.
Competitive Spirit
Friends motivate us to excel. If one friend can read, the other wants to be able to read, too. If one friend can ride a bike, the other doesn't want to be left behind. Through this friendly competition, we also learn to be a good sport, whether we win or lose.
There's a Whole World Out There
While getting to know friends, we discover that there is more than one way to look at the world. Friends broaden our vision by sharing stories of their family and culture, just as we enrich their lives with our experiences.